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Post by Deleted on Apr 2, 2018 0:26:53 GMT
Hi, and Happy Easter to all. Christ is risen!
Helen suggested I stop in, so I've registered and am happy to see many names I remember. How is everyone?
As for an update, dear Helen, let's just say we have a progressive disease and it is indeed progressing. Kevin's ability to walk is all but gone. He struggles immensely to stand, is confined primarily to the camper for ease of access, and lives almost entirely online. It has become almost impossible to take him with me anywhere, as I simply can not handle the weight of his wheelchair(s), especially as I am recently struggling with my right knee going out, bone on bone, but ... I will see things through. A leg brace helps. Some. My faith and determination help more.
Anyway, enough of that.
I spent some time on Facebook, off and on, in recent years, but always became very frustrated by the angry political atmosphere. My page is currently closed. As for my political thoughts ... I am watching. Things seem to me an absolute phenomena: in the churches, in my nation, in the ever-changing "administration," and in lack of good Christian discernment. I watch, with a growing sense of unease, as though we sit on the brink of prophecy fulfilled. Look up, as they say.
The things that brought me joy still bring me joy: a full moon, my horses' happy nickers as I bring them their hay, cat whiskers, puppy kisses, a flickering candle, good books, hot coffee, chocolate, and a safe, warm bed at the end of it all, which is nothing to be taken for granted in such a world as ours. Indeed, take nothing for granted.
My recent study partner has been Matthew Henry. He and I are going through the bible together, and he is a wonderful teacher. I love his use of language, his words and his ways.
So, though our world has grown smaller, though things are very far from how we had thought they would be, life is still worth living. The simple pleasures make it so. Yet, the struggles increase.
If I am verbose, please forgive. I still get carried away while writing, and, in a day, we have far more air-traffic above than cars passing down below. The solitude is nice in it's way, but the isolation can, at times, be a bit much.
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Post by Helen on Apr 2, 2018 3:02:46 GMT
Nancy, so good to see you and to get an update...look time no see.❤️ You and Kevin have soldiered on for so long now. Bless your hearts. x Please tell him hello from me. Very glad that you have found Matthew Henry... A good friend to have. How is the flute going, or are you waiting for Spring? Love, hugs and prayers....H
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Post by heartsong on Apr 2, 2018 3:21:14 GMT
Nancy, so good to hear from you after so long. I'm still on Facebook but I changed my name for privacy, if that even exists anymore, and I don't give out personal information about myself on my page. I'm there mostly for family and I'm in two private groups on Facebook. One is just for family. Yes this past election was very disturbing in many ways. People on Facebook unfriending each other. People acting like they had lost their minds. Even on Christian forums and I felt myself being pulled down by all that so I had to step back and get away from it. There's a lot that's been going on with me that I won't go into right now. Maybe in a private message. My heart goes out to you and Kevin. You're right, faith and determination helps more. God gives us strength beyond what is normal. He loves us and he fills our hearts with his love. He gives us hope to carry on. He guards our hearts and minds. He calms our doubts and fears. He gives us peace of mind. I'm sure you are very much aware of this already though. Send me a message.
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Post by Deleted on Apr 2, 2018 6:25:36 GMT
Hi to my dear friend Nancy. Surprised and gladdened to see you here. I've relented a bit from my forum avoidance....mainly to fill boring empty moments in my life. But, now that you're here I'll have to soft pedal a bit re my views on the apostasy foretold by Christ, as recorded in Matthew 13 and summarised in verses 31-32, particularly in respect of my views on the part played by Catholicism (briefly alluded to in stayingintouch2.freeforums.net/post/9928/thread). I owe you an email, but maybe now that you're here we can use the forum to keep up to date. Since I sent you a copy of my artwork brochure I've updated it to depict paintings as per my latest posts under "Blatant Exhibitionist".....I'll send you an updated copy shortly. Luv to you also from Becky ....woof, woof.
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Post by Poppy on Apr 2, 2018 9:02:01 GMT
Hi Nancy, lovely to see you back.
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Post by james on Apr 2, 2018 11:22:00 GMT
Hello Nancy, I was sorry to hear about Kevin's deterioration. In marriage what effect one always impacts on the other, you do sound strong in faith as you recognise all the blessing around you.
I trust that we can provide a little bit of an outlet for you as well as some encouragment.
Bless you, James
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Post by Deleted on Apr 2, 2018 18:41:46 GMT
How is the flute going, or are you waiting for Spring? Love, hugs and prayers....H I'm afraid the flute lessons are on hold for now, Helen. I recorded almost all of them though, so I have them.
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Post by Deleted on Apr 2, 2018 18:47:50 GMT
♡Thanks to Poppy and James for the welcome and kind words. Heartsong, I will pm you soon.♡
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Post by Poppy on Apr 2, 2018 18:53:40 GMT
♡Thanks to Poppy and James for the welcome and kind words. Heartsong, I will pm you soon.♡ I've thought about you often Nancy and have continued to pray for you and Kevin when the Spirit has moved me. Glad you're back. xx
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Post by Deleted on Apr 2, 2018 19:03:11 GMT
Mike,
I'm glad you're here, filling your time. No soft-pedaling necessary. I have no energy to debate religion or politics; I'm here for friendship, praise, and maybe some light study. No way to get to church or to Mass these days, so while I respect the Catholic Church, I'm rather back to the cathedral of field and stream. I can't really leave Kevin any more than necessary to shop. I think his needs will be increasing, too. Give Becky a pat. I'm fading as I write this, so, as we would always say, "Zzzzz".
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Post by Deleted on Apr 2, 2018 19:06:22 GMT
♡Thanks to Poppy and James for the welcome and kind words. Heartsong, I will pm you soon.♡ I've thought about you often Nancy and have continued to pray for you and Kevin when the Spirit has moved me. Glad you're back. xx Thanks, hon.♡ Good to be among Christian friends.
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Post by Deleted on Apr 3, 2018 2:40:22 GMT
Another 911 call today, ambulance, all the bells and whistles. I watched him struggle to his feet only to see his knees buckle beneath him. He fell backwards. There is no way I can get him up. It takes 3 men. Afterward, we both broke down. We are coming to an end here, and while he likely needs to be in a wheelchair fulltime, that transition is not as easy as one might think. With no leg strength, no balance, how does one transfer in or out of the chair? And then we find it almost impossible to get his feet on the foot plate. His leg shoots out straight and there is no bending it. Going to the bathroom is a major ordeal. I'm not sure at the moment if I can get him to the bed safely tonight. We are both utterly exhausted. I need help and advise, but there seems to be no one. Family has abandoned us. No one calls. No one visits. The "professionals" pass me around like a volleyball. No insurance, just Medicare. What will become of my love, my poor husband?
To be honest: Speaking of healing related to faith, to prayer, upsets me right now. I have tried so hard to make my peace with the fact that THIS IS HAPPENING, yet still, this is a terrible disease that takes you down piece by piece, leaving zero dignity. I try to stay strong but I'm having difficulty sleeping. The anxiety that I can't handle this, that I am simply not physically strong enough to help him,torments me. He is really all I have and I can't send him away. We don't want to be separated. He is scared and unhappy and God IS allowing this to happen. I don't want to start asking what I have done wrong again. I don't want to feel my faith is not great enough, that this is my fault in some way.
I'm not sure I should be here. I'm not sure of anything. I'm very tired right now. Seeing my once strong husband broken and literally sobbing has about drained me today. I feel alone. I feel abandoned. My own daughter has not been out here in over a year.
Here's the truth: The real faith is to have faith, even when there is no healing. THAT is what I must cling to, strive for, because thousands of dollars, treatment after treatment and nothing has helped. Only that God is with me. He is with me.
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Post by Poppy on Apr 3, 2018 9:45:30 GMT
Oh Nancy. Words are inadequate. How could you bear it without Jesus? When I was in so much agony and distress with the shingles a few years ago the pain and exhaustion made it really hard for me to pray but I 'clung' to the knowledge that He was still here with me and tried to give myself up to him.
Even though I couldn't pray, the words of 'The Old Rugged Cross' kept going round and round in my mind and gave me comfort in the 'clinging'. I have never liked that song and didn't even know I knew the words but God used it to hold me together.
It will be something different perhaps for you, but God will give you something to hold you together.
Be of good cheer, take heart. "In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.” John 16:33
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Post by Deleted on Apr 3, 2018 11:35:15 GMT
Oh Nancy. Words are inadequate. How could you bear it ? Rarely have I felt so distressed by my helplessness.
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Post by Dave on Apr 3, 2018 15:25:37 GMT
Nancy our prayers and thoughts are with you; one does get 'weary' in well doing and God's book is very much a book of 'whys' and sometimes finding Him in the 'whys' of life is not easy BUT HE is there, David in Psl 139 " Wither shall I go from thy spirit? and he also walked in His valleys of the shadow of death and found Him there.
Sometimes in my 'whys' and valley's, I just listen to Mercy Me's " Even if " and follow it up with " Faultless" May HIS love be a bubble around you both.
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Post by Helen on Apr 3, 2018 15:26:57 GMT
Nancy. Well one thing I can assure you about this Site and it's members...for you...it is a "safe place"....no judging about healing or not healing. Too many of us ( who all believe in healing) are crocked up and suffering with something ...not yet healed. Healing is our promise, manifested or unseen, it still stands. You believe that, so hold on to that. Also remember that it may be a case of Hebrews 11:13 " These all died in faith, not having received the promises, but having seen them afar off, and were persuaded of them, and embraced them, and confessed that they were strangers and pilgrims on the earth." I have often held on to that...We have no one else to believe in but God. And the three Hebrew young men. ..another one of my favourites to stand upon when all else is failing and God doesn't seem to move for us...they still kept their faith in Him. And were prepared to die believing in deliverance one way or another. Daniel 3:17 " If it be so, our God whom we serve is able to deliver us from the burning fiery furnace, and he will deliver us out of thine hand, O king.18 But if not, be it known unto thee, O king, that we will not serve 'thy gods', nor worship the golden image which thou hast set up."
Nancy, you and Kevin ARE " keeping the faith". No condemnation ...because there is " no condemnation to those who are in Christ Jesus..." Like Mike say..we all feel pretty useless from where we are...and unable to help. Prayer is all we have. I think if I was Kevin I would fell justified after all these years to say.." Okay Lord, You haven't chosen to do it the healing way...so please get me out of here now, and heal me in Your Presence instead." Tough on you I know, but better for Kevin. We have all sung about the glories of heaven, but we seem a bit reluctant to go! We are but human. We love you and care for you. I must run to the dentist now...back later. xx
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Post by Deleted on Apr 3, 2018 17:02:53 GMT
I have no time, but thank God! I read your messages and you were all more helpful than you know. It is, sadly, Christians who have said some of the most hurtful things, as though this is our fault. The mind games were the devil's torment. I must run, but thank you all. The verses, the songs (Even If), all true. Truth.♡ This world is not my home. I will run this race, do all I can, but I look forward to something so much greater. Need to get back ...
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Post by Deleted on Apr 3, 2018 17:15:17 GMT
This one is for you, Nancy.
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Post by Deleted on Apr 3, 2018 17:25:15 GMT
Oh Nancy. Words are inadequate. Even though I couldn't pray, the words of 'The Old Rugged Cross' kept going round and round in my mind and gave me comfort in the 'clinging'. I have never liked that song and didn't even know I knew the words but God used it to hold me together.
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Post by Helen on Apr 3, 2018 18:25:21 GMT
Well Mike...those so moved me and made me cry...esp the first one...awesome. I am sure they will also bless Nancy a whole lot. Who can not be moved by anything by the Gaither Group. ❤️
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